Advice to Those Facing Divorce | Sabrina Layman

Gathering information would be the best advice I would give you. Some folks split up their marriage with one person doing all of the bookwork and the other person being dependent. And the dependent person — if you don’t know your finances — just start gathering information: copies of tax returns, at least where you bank, some sense of what you owe or own.

That will help a lot for both sides: the person who does the bookwork and the other person. It helps with control. It helps with determination during that period of discovery. If you don’t really know anything about your assets, it gives you some sense of balance, because at least you have an understanding of what you’re about to receive. So gathering information is the first order — the first piece of advice I give people.

The second is: find a support system, either through professional therapy, friends, or family, where you can confidently talk about how you’re going through the process.

And lastly, don’t make it public. Nobody wants to live out somebody else’s divorce on social media, and that does make it very difficult sometimes for attorneys to deal with, because there’s a lot of public outcry or backlash. It’s your life. It’s your case. What other people tell you about what you should get or shouldn’t do — that’s just their opinion.

So: first thing, gather information. Secondly, create a support group. And lastly, create a private scenario where you don’t live this out socially. I think those are the three pieces of advice I would give people.